In Him we live and move and have our being (Acts 17. 8)
Once upon a time there lived a great spotted pig named Arthur. Arthur lived alone in an angry mess with only concrete walls to run against and waste food to wallow in. To Arthur, surrounded by grey walls, and grey skies the outlook seemed totally bleak and empty. Each day unrolled with a thud as his chute opened and food slid down into his trough. Today, rain splashed over his ears mixed with his tears and ran off his nose into his food. It was not a good day.
It wasn’t easy to look Arthur in the eye because his long floppy ears fell right over them, On one ear, the right one, there was a black spot that made Arthur look cute and even attractive. But Arthur felt neither cute nor attractive, in fact he felt fat and forgotten, and, even though he ate all day, Arthur felt quite empty inside.
One thing that Arthur liked best of all happened in autumn. He often got turnips to eat during autumn and he saved them until night-time when he would roll them up and down the channel in the floor of the sty. When he nuzzled them up and down for no reason at all, it felt good and deep inside him there was a silent chuckle. Each time the turnip danced around at the end of his nose, the chuckle got stronger until Arthur’s side began to ripple with private mirth.
But that was in autumn and Arthur had not seen a turnip since Christmas, three months ago. The spring sunshine pushed its way into Arthur’s sty and Arthur lay warming his bristles and smouldering with boredom. He heard the chute clang. But it wasn’t time for food and with a mighty effort Arthur lifted his right ear to look. There was no food at all. So, he dropped his ear and exhaled wearily. He heard his breath echo off the concrete walls, and he sighed again. This time there was no echo. He held his own breath and waited and then he heard it; a breath like his own but different! Something had come down the chute and was inside the sty!
Arthur sprang into immediate action and shut both eyes tightly. He needed to think. This ‘something’ had come down the chute and it was not food. It was alive, like him maybe! But maybe this thing wasn’t like him at all. It could be horribly different. Arthur lay and thought of all the ways this something might look then he decided that it was probably much worse. So, he continued to lay still. Suddenly his sty, once so safe and so boring, had become an arena in which life and death might have to be fought out. He thought of the years past with no exercise and the folds of fat that lay around him like icing on a cake, and Arthur groaned inside.
Eventually, fighting back the fear that glued his eyes together he looked out from under that spotted ear and saw ….. Well to be honest he didn’t see, because there was nothing there! Arthur felt foolish and relieved at the same time and was just about to get angry with himself when he heard the ‘something’ again! There was a ‘something’ there, but you couldn’t see it. Arthur blinked and looked some more. No, the sty was definitely empty but something was breathing inside the sty, not an echo, not anything at all but ‘something’ was there.
Arthur groaned, this was worse than he could ever have imagined. How can you fight an invisible enemy? He had imagined great toothed animals with red eyes, or jelly-like slimy things with sharp nails. This was worse than them all! You could tread on it and not know. It could creep up on you and frighten you. Arthur didn’t know if it was fat or thin, long or short. It was as totally strange as anything he had ever seen, or not seen before!
All day Arthur lay in the corner, grabbing what sunlight he could to keep him from shaking with the icy fear he kept inside. Even when the food came, he didn’t move he just opened one eye and stared. He was petrified because every time he breathed the 'something’ breathed too and it was remarkably close. As darkness fell the ache in Arthur’s stomach grew stronger and it eventually rolled him into action. He stood on shaky legs and looked around him in the gloom. Nothing to see, but Arthur summoned all his courage and spoke into the air.
“Who are you?”
“You’re hungry” a voice said “and you're cold. Why don’t you eat?”
“Because I’m scared of you” Arthur blurted it out. “I can’t see you; I don’t know where you are.” “Do you know where you are” said the voice in gentle reply.
Poor Arthur couldn’t answer, because he’d never been anywhere and had only seen grey walls and grey skies. This ‘something’ was cleverer than he was, and he felt even more scared. So, he ignored it. Arthur just walked over to his food and began to munch. But ‘The Something’ followed him and seemed to settle down by his side, content to wait, but what for?
Eventually Arthur stopped eating and looked around. He thought that with hunger gone ‘it’ would disappear too. But no. There it was as regular as clockwork, its every breath mirroring his own. Arthur sighed. He could not pretend any more. This was something new and it wasn’t going to go away.
“How come you’ve got no body?” Arthur jabbed the question into the air on his right.
“I think you’ve got enough body for both of us.” The something replied. And as it spoke the 'something' chuckled and it seemed to Arthur that he had heard this 'something' before.
“Everything has got to be seen or it is not real. Even pigs know what much” said Arthur, almost pleading.
“Oh, I wouldn’t say that,” said the ‘something’.
“Well of course you wouldn’t” Arthur snapped. “Or you’d be nothing”
“In that case,” said the ‘something’, “you are now talking to nothing and maybe you’re going mad.”
Arthur thought hard in the silence that followed. This was a very clever ‘something’ and he was so scared of it. Yet there was a good feeling when he talked. He hadn’t really talked properly since he was a piglet and he remembered now that he liked to talk.
“Where do you come from?” Arthur asked more gently.
“Nowhere,” said the ‘something,’ “I have been here all the time.”
Arthur shuddered. Somehow, he knew that it was true, and yet he did not want it to be so. It meant that all those years wandering around in the sty, moaning and groaning, lying bored to death in his corner, and all that time this ‘something’ had been there, silently watching. Arthur began to realise with horror that here was something that knew all about him, could look into him and see through him. It was no use pretending!
Strangely enough that thought made Arthur more relaxed. He gave in and slumped down next to the trough. It was not that the 'something' was cleverer than Arthur but that it also seemed much wiser and more relaxed. Arthur knew now that he needed to know more. So, he began to ask questions slowly at first, then faster and faster until the 'something' chuckled again and asked him to slow down. Sometimes the ‘something’ would laugh at Arthur and say he was asking the wrong question but generally, Arthur got good quick answers. He had never thought so much in his whole life!
The ‘something’ told him he was on a farm and that the sounds he could hear were other animals just like himself. Perhaps one day, he would meet them. Suddenly Arthur’s sty changed in his own mind, from a safe place it became a prison. His mind, full of anger again, Arthur imagined himself charging at the door and breaking out. He told the ‘something’ what he wanted to do and even began to jig about ready to attack the door.
“No, no,” said the 'something,' “that will not do. It was your own anger that put you in this solitary sty years ago, before you can even remember. You must find a different way.”
“I am not angry!” snapped Arthur “It’s my right to go and come as I please!”
The ‘something’ said nothing to that outburst and Arthur felt ashamed. Eventually the ‘something’ said, “If you want to get out, and be as free as you want, you must learn to establish trust with the rest of the farm.”
“What’s trust?” said Arthur, sighing, “I’ve never heard of it.”
“It means recognising the goodness and wisdom in others and relying on it.” Said the ‘something’
This was a lot for Arthur to take in. So, he thought about it, but still it made no sense.
“Tell me again, please.” Said Arthur “What is trust, I must be very stupid.”
“No, you’re not stupid.” Said the ‘something’ “You just live in your own little world, and it is impossible to learn trust without letting others into your world. “So, I’m never going to learn,” cried Arthur with mounting desolation. “It’s up to you” said the ‘something.’ Arthur was about to protest but the something continued:
“Outside this sty, in a big green field, there are twenty others just like you. Just before midnight, one of them will come to your door and open it. It can only be opened from the outside. If you are brave enough, you can go out and meet them, but you must leave your anger behind and always be back when your food arrives each morning.
Arthur couldn’t believe it! After all these years this is what he had hoped for. Yet until this moment he really didn’t know it."
The ‘something’ somehow nudged him inside his head, “Remember that if you want to continue to go in and out you must try to understand and trust others. If you continue to be angry and hopeless then you will have made this sty your own prison.”
The ‘Something’ paused, “It is up to you Arthur to learn to trust and build friendships that will set you free. Remember I am always with you and with everyone you meet, we can always talk”.
With that, the ‘something’ went. Like a bubble bursting, it had gone.
But as the moon rose that night Arthur was stood by the sty door with confused feelings of anticipation and disbelief. For hours he stood staring at the door until a cloud lifted off the moon and the door clicked and silently swung open. Arthur gasped at the ordinariness of it all and, with a trusting heart, walked out into a new life.
Fr David O’Malley SDB
RUAH is the breath and the Spirit of God breathing in each one of us.
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