Accompanying Young People in Salesian Schools

As we move towards the feast of Don Bosco this weekend here is a reflection on one of his key skills as an educator and friend of the young. One that lies at the heart of our conference in March.

Accompanying young people is a central role of teachers in Salesian schools. That accompaniment of learners is a helping relationship aiming to remove the obstacles to learning at many levels in a young person’s life. It includes and at times goes beyond the achievement of academic success. The word implies a process of journeying with the young person through growth and change. It implies a quality of presence where the adult engages with the world of the young person and understands their hopes and dilemmas from the young person’s perspective.  

Accompanying is both professional and spiritual since it takes the adult into the mystery of a young life and at the same time roots them in the professional standards and guidelines of their school. In that sense all accompaniment, whether it is called mentoring or coaching or some other term, will have a spiritual dimension. That is because all these helping relationships touch questions of purpose and meaning in the lives of young people. Purpose and meaning are the bread and butter of spirituality. 

It is not possible to engage with a young person about the poor quality of their work without touching aspects of their motivation. Why are they not bothered? What kind of self-image do they carry, what is the pattern of aspiration in their family? What events and relationships have made them reluctant to even try? Where has their hope and energy gone? Underneath the academic struggle there will be hidden obstacles to learning that need to be identified and those will remain hidden until the young person establishes a relationship of trust with their accompanier, mentor or coach. Don Bosco said:

Confidence creates an electric current between youngsters and the adult, hearts are opened and weaknesses made known.

Don Bosco Letter from Rome 1884 

The coach, accompanier or mentor in a Salesian setting needs to establish a warm and friendly relationship of trust with the young person. Such trust may be difficult for the young person to establish, depending upon their own history of relationships with adults. Gentle, nonjudgmental persistence is needed. This is what Don Bosco said: 

How do you break through this barrier of mistrust? By a friendly and an informal approach with people, especially in free time. You cannot have trust in your relationships without this friendly approach and where it is not evident there can be no confidence. 

Don Bosco Letter from Rome 1884 

Soul searching. 

Don Bosco’s motto was “Give me souls, take everything else away.” He chose this because he wanted to make it clear that he wanted to protect and nurture the spirit of young people, their soul. The soul can be seen as that part of a person’s life that is in constant relationship with the mystery and meaning of life that some of us call God. It is the soul that engages in the search for meaning, that reaches out in compassion, that overflows with joy and creativity. It is the heart of being human. It is impossible to touch any aspect of a young person’s life without encountering aspects of their soul. Even though our culture would like to separate this spiritual dimension from the external world it is impossible to do so because we are all spiritual beings and often wounded spiritual beings at that. 

Therefore, accompanying young people is a vital part of our work as Salesian educators. We are never simply instructors, nor just providers of knowledge, something deeper is happening in the educational relationship, we are saving souls. As one school expresses it: “We are not called to be the sage on the stage

but the guide at the side of young people.

Journeying with the young keeping them safe at their pace